Tonight I’m tired, and it’s crossed my mind that I should just choose something from my journal to post this evening. But as I search through my daily writing log, it proves to be too difficult to choose something. I realize that perhaps the only thing left to do is to write something right now.
There are hundreds (if not thousands) of pages of written words I could pull from, which leads me to the question: What must I say that I haven’t already said? “Hmmm,” I think. The word reverberates through me. Then silence. Stillness. No words yet. It is in these still moments that I realize silence whispers quite loudly.
The fatigue has set it. The house is clean, yes, but at what cost? After work today, my body was telling me to slow down – to take the evening off. Over the past several weeks, I have led with a firey energy; I have been doing a lot while being a lot. It felt like a beautiful ebb and flow of energies, a “balance.” Man, I really hate that word. “Balance.” It sends shivers down my spine. Overused and undervalued.
Anyways, let’s get back on topic here. I know I didn’t give myself the rest I needed. I overdid it. But I think there’s been a lesson in that, really. This year, I’ve travelled a lot. It feels like I’m unpacking my suitcase every week or two. What’s been really cool about pushing the limits of my body though, is that I’ve become more fluid somehow. I’ve learned to go with the flow and not expect or desire perfection when it comes to a schedule. (And I am not afraid to say that a part of me loves to have a schedule… most of the time.) I’ll just take this moment to share the fact that I made an itinerary for our family trip to Disney World when I was a kid. That definitely wasn’t the last trip itinerary I made, but I certainly prefer to be fully the moment and have fun.
My tired, yet hopefully still a tad bit meaningful, point here is that life gives you exactly the lessons you need. Life propels you to become more of that which you truly are; life loves you. It wants you to be the truth…to be your truth.
Good night, friends.